The Five-Minute Miracle: Adapting Scripture Study for Wiggly Kids

The toddler was hanging upside down off the couch with his head touching the floor and his feet hooked over the back cushion and he was humming a song that was only recognizable as a hymn if you already knew what hymn it was supposed to be. The second grader was tracing the outline of a picture in the margins of the Come Follow Me manual with a pen she found on the floor and the middle schooler was reading ahead because he had already decided we were going too slowly. Meanwhile, the teenager was scrolling through her phone under the table with her thumb moving like it had a mind of its own. The passage I was trying to read was about faith and I could not hear my own voice over the sound of everything falling apart around me.

I closed the book and I sat there for a second looking at the ceiling. The toddler noticed the silence and stopped humming and looked at me and I looked back at him and he said are we done and I said yes we are done and the relief in his face was so honest that I had to laugh. We had been at it for maybe four minutes and I felt like I had run a marathon.

I used to teach third grade and I thought I knew how to manage a room full of restless children. But those children were not mine and they went home at three o'clock and I had gold stars and a sticker chart and a bell I could ring. My own children have seen every trick I have and they are not impressed by any of them. The gold star system does not work when the child has already figured out that you cannot send them to the principal's office.

How to Do Family Scripture Study with Hyperactive Children

Here is what I have learned after years of trying to make my children sit still for the scriptures. They will not sit still and that is fine because stillness has never been the real point of studying the scriptures together. The connection matters more than folded legs or eyes on the page.

I started letting the toddler hold a toy during scripture study and it felt wrong at first. I had this image in my head of reverent children with their hands folded and their faces turned toward the speaker and I thought letting him play with a car meant he was not listening. But I noticed something after a few weeks. He was listening. He could repeat back parts of what we read even though he was rolling a Hot Wheel across the floor while he did it. His body was moving but his ears were open.

The second grader draws during study and I used to stop her and ask her to pay attention. Now I let her draw. The pictures she makes are often related to the story we are reading and sometimes they are not but she is in the room and she is part of it and that is more than she was before when I was fighting her to sit still and she was fighting back.

A post on The Spiritual Weight of Small Things helped me understand that the holy moments in family life often look messy from the outside. The same is true for scripture study. A child rolling a Hot Wheel across the floor while hearing about Nephi building a ship might be absorbing more than we think. The connection happens in the cracks, not in the perfect moments.

Short Scripture Study Ideas for Toddlers and Preschoolers

I stopped trying to cover the whole lesson a long time ago. Now I pick one verse. Just one. I read it and then we talk about what it means in words that a toddler can understand and if we get through that much I consider it a win.

Sometimes I read the verse and ask the toddler to act it out. If the verse is about being kind he shows me what kindness looks like by giving me a hug that lasts approximately half a second before he runs away laughing. If the verse is about faith he jumps off the bottom step into my arms because he trusts I will catch him. Those five seconds of acting out a verse are worth more than twenty minutes of me reading while everyone fidgets.

I also started using the car for scripture time because it solved the running away problem. The car is a miracle for scripture study with young children because they are strapped in and cannot run away. We listen to the weekly audio on the way to school and I ask one question about it when we pull into the parking lot. What did you like about that story. That is the whole discussion and sometimes the answer is nothing and sometimes the answer is something surprising that opens a door I did not know was there.

The article on The Quiet Grace of Low-Pressure Family Prayer talks about how lowering the pressure on family spiritual practices can actually increase their impact. The same is true for scripture study. A short consistent practice where the child feels safe and unhurried will do more for their long term relationship with the scriptures than a long frustrated session where everyone ends up upset.

Dealing with Frustration during LDS Family Home Evening

I think the hardest part of family scripture study involves something deeper than the noise or the wiggles or the sibling arguments over who gets to hold the book. It has to do with what happens inside the parent when none of it goes according to plan. The voice that says you are failing and you will never be able to do this right and the other families probably have it together and you are the only one whose children treat the Book of Mormon like a drum.

I know that voice because I have heard it in my own head more times than I can count. I have closed the book and walked into the kitchen and stood there gripping the counter while I tried to calm down enough to go back in there and try again. And I have learned that the most spiritual thing I can do in those moments is to stop and hug my child instead of finishing the lesson. The relationship is the lesson. If I push through the frustration to check a box I am teaching them that the box matters more than they do.

How to Teach Scriptures to Kids Who Cant Sit Still

I asked a friend once how she managed to have a consistent study routine with her five children and she said something that sounded too simple to be true. She said she stopped expecting them to listen the same way. Some of her children listen best when they are sitting close to her and some listen best when they are across the room building with blocks and some only listen when they are moving through the house doing something else entirely. She stopped trying to make them all fit one method and started paying attention to how each child actually learned.

I tried that approach and it changed things for our family. The middle schooler listens best when he is lying on the floor with his eyes closed and I used to think he was falling asleep. The teenager listens best when she has something to do with her hands like drawing or braiding hair. And the toddler listens best when he is allowed to move and I have accepted that he will probably never sit through a full verse until he is at least seven years old.

The point is that there is no right way to do this. The scriptures were given to us by a God who knows that we are mortal and tired and that our children have bodies that need to move and minds that wander.

By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. - Alma 37:6

He does not need us to have a perfect study session. He needs us to keep opening the book and letting our children see that it matters to us.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should family scripture study actually last for young children?

For toddlers and preschoolers I have found that five minutes is plenty. Sometimes less. Covering material should never be the goal. The goal is to create a positive association with the scriptures so that when they are old enough to study on their own they remember that this was a place where they felt safe and loved. Follow the child's attention span instead of the clock and stop before anyone is miserable.

What do I do when my children are too disruptive to even read a single verse?

When the disruption makes it impossible to even read a single verse, I pivot to something simpler. Put down the book and sing a hymn together or talk about one thing you love about Jesus while you fold laundry together. Sometimes the best study session is the one that does not involve the book at all because the principles you are trying to teach are happening in real time. Patience, kindness, forgiveness, showing up again after a hard moment. That is the curriculum.

Does it matter if we do not finish the Come Follow Me lesson for the week?

Not at all. The lesson plan is a tool, not a test. It is there to serve your family and not the other way around. If you read one verse all week and that one verse sparked a conversation that your children remembered, you have done more than enough. The Lord is not checking your progress against a schedule.

The toddler still hangs upside down off the couch during scripture study and the second grader still draws in the margins and the teenager still finds ways to hide her phone and I still close the book sometimes and call it done after four minutes. But we are doing it. Every day we open the book and that act alone is the part that matters. The words will find their way in eventually and they always do when the door stays open.

with love, Melissa