The Theology of the 'Slow-Down': Cultivating Spiritual Presence in a High-Speed World
The kettle whistled and I could not find the toddler's shoe and the teenager needed a signature on a permission slip that was due yesterday. My heart was beating too quickly for a Tuesday morning.
I found the shoe and signed the form and poured the water. But I had already lost something. I had moved through the whole sequence without being in it.
Here is what I have been sitting with this week. Speed and the Spirit do not coexist well. The Holy Ghost whispers and I cannot hear a whisper when I am running.
How to Slow Down in a Busy LDS Family
When I taught third grade, I learned about wait time. After a teacher asks a question, students need a few seconds of silence to process before they answer. Teachers who rush through that silence get shallow answers. Teachers who hold the silence get better ones.
Faith works the same way. God asks us things in scripture and prayer and the quiet of our hearts, but if we fill every gap with noise or activity, we never get to the answer.
A wise woman in my ward said something that has stayed with me. "The Lord is not in a hurry. Why do I think I should be?" I had no good answer.
Spiritual Benefits of Slowing Down for Parents
The honest version is that I am still learning how to do this. But I have started noticing what happens when I manage to slow down.
When I sit on the floor with the toddler and let her show me the same toy for the fifth time, I see something I missed the first four times. The way she holds it and the way she talks to it. A whole world happens inside her head and I only catch it when I stop.
"Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10
Be still. That is a hard command for someone who keeps a running to-do list in her head. But I am learning that stillness is not emptiness. It is readiness.
Creating a Peaceful Home Environment LDS
I started small. After dinner one night I sat down instead of jumping up to clear the plates. The table stayed cluttered for a few extra minutes while the kids lingered and talked. They told me things they would not have shared if I had been wiping the counter.
The table I have been wiping down for twelve years taught me something. It does not need to be cleared for connection to happen. Sometimes the connection happens because the clearing is delayed.
Practicing Mindfulness and Presence in LDS Parenting
The grace of the unfinished finding peace in the imperfect rhythms of family discipleship helped me see that we do not need to finish everything to be present. We just need to be here.
Overcoming Hurry Sickness in Christians
Here is what I am trying. I want to move through my day the way I move through my home when everyone is asleep. Slow enough to notice. Slow enough to hear, without the pressure of getting anywhere fast.
I do not always succeed. But trying counts.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I slow down when my kids have so many activities?
The schedule may stay the same but the energy can change. Turn the car ride into a quiet space instead of another checklist. Let there be silence in the gaps between things.
Does slowing down mean I am not being productive?
A perfectly managed calendar that leaves your heart empty is not real productivity. The most important work of family life is relational and that work happens at a slower pace.
How do I let go of the guilt of falling behind?
"Behind" is a social measure, not a spiritual one. The Lord does not count your pace. He notices your direction.
What is the difference between resting and slowing down?
Rest is recovery from exertion. Slowing down is an active choice about how you carry yourself through the world. Rest stops the car. Slowing down means driving slow enough to see the view.
The tea got cold while I wrote this. But the kids came home from school and I put the cold cup aside. I sat on the floor and watched them unfold their day. It took longer than the tea would have taken to reheat. But it was worth it.
with love,
Rachel