What I Caught of Saturday Afternoon With Ben in the Room

The clean page in my notebook lasted about as long as the first talk. Every April and every October I sit down with it and the quiet idea that this will be the time I hear all of it, and this afternoon Elder Eyring's "Comfort From the Holy Ghost," the ninth of ten, went by while I stood in front of the dishwasher looking for the flip-spout cup Ben wanted. So I'm reading that one tonight with the text open on the laptop, the way I do with whatever I missed.

Which is most of the point of this post. You're going to miss some of it, and the useful question is what you do with the part you got.

How much of a session can a two-year-old actually sit through?

About a talk and the opening music, on the couch. After that Ben was on the floor, then the stairs, then Biscuit's ear, then my lap, which I'd call a decent session for a boy who turns three on the 30th. Lily had a coloring page she mostly ignored. Caleb stayed on the end of the couch for the whole two hours and I let him be.

I wrote on Monday about how we set up for conference weekend, so I won't go through the snacks again. What's new this time is that I've quit asking Ben for stillness. I ask him to be in the room. When I taught third grade I had a rule I never said out loud, which was that a child who is in the room and wandering hears more than a child who got sent out to be quiet, and it holds in a living room too, even when the wandering involves a dog and a trip up the stairs and back for no reason Ben could name.

What each of them might hold onto

Ben gets the music. He tells me loudly whenever the choir is singing.

Lily gets a story with a person and a date in it, so I'd bet on Elder Morgan. He said his mother read to him from the Book of Mormon every day when he was a boy, and that his ancestors Francis and Mary Ann Case were baptized by Oliver Cowdery in 1831 and went on to help build Nauvoo and its temple. Covenants, he said, "are generational in their impact." Lily was baptized in June and is still working out what a covenant even sits on top of, but a name and a year she can hold. I'd also guess she asks whether the Cases had a horse.

Caleb is eleven and in the middle of a fall ball season where he's finding out you can do everything right and still strike out. Elder Dunn talked about life as an ultramarathon and said the Redeemer rescues us "not by shortening our course but by helping us lengthen our stride." I'm keeping that for Caleb, and I won't hand it to him straight, because he'd roll his eyes so hard I'd worry about the muscles. It'll come out sideways sometime when he isn't braced for it.

Elder Rasband was last, and he was talking to somebody

Elder Rasband's "Love Like Jesus" was for parents and grandparents and anyone whose heart aches for a person who has turned away from the Lord. He said he and Sister Rasband know that ache themselves. I copied this line out tonight from the posted text:

I ask you to turn over to Jesus Christ your despair for those wayward souls.

He also said that everyone must choose for themselves, and that Christ has already paid for the sins and errant choices of those we grieve. Elder Morgan said something close to it from another side earlier in the session, that a parent's faithfulness doesn't override a child's agency but still reaches forward. I wouldn't claim the two talks were meant as a pair. They landed one after the other in my head, though, and I expect they will for some of you.

I don't have a child who has walked away and I won't write as though I do. I've sat on a lot of Sunday benches beside women who do, and I know that when that talk came on in their houses there were probably other people in the room. Nobody at the Conference Center has an eight-year-old asking what's for dinner while they try to hold their face still. If that talk was yours, pause it and take it up later, with the lights off and as long as you need.

Elder Kearon, gliding, and why my notebook stays small

Elder Kearon talked about gliders, and about how a glider that isn't climbing in rising air is coming down. He called the Savior our lift. I got that much from the sink, where I was wiping a counter that didn't need it, and whatever came right after went past me.

The notebook gets one line per session now, the speaker's name and one phrase, and I write it after the talk ends and never during, because when I'm writing I'm not listening. Tonight's page says Morgan, generational, then Kearon and the word air, and for Rasband I wrote turn over.

Frequently Asked Questions

What were the talks in the Saturday afternoon session?

There were ten, from 2 to 4 p.m. Mountain time, conducted by Elder Neil L. Andersen. Elder Renlund opened with "How Long Will It Be Ere They Believe Me?" and Elder Rasband closed with "Love Like Jesus." Messages go up in text, audio and video on the Gospel Library and the General Conference YouTube channel.

Should a two-year-old be expected to sit through conference?

No, and I wouldn't spend your Saturday trying. Keep them in the room for the music and whatever else they'll give you, and let the rest go. That's my own habit and not Church guidance.

Is it okay to have snacks and coloring pages on the couch?

It's what we do, and nobody has told us to stop. I'd keep the pages quiet and the snacks the kind that don't leave a sound behind, and cocoa is fine in our house if the room is cold.

What did Elder Rasband tell parents of children who have left the Church?

To keep loving them and keep praying for them, and to turn their despair over to Jesus Christ. He said everyone must choose for themselves and that Christ has already paid for the sins and errant choices of those we grieve.

with love, Melissa